Sizing Up the Situation: How to Buy an Engagement Ring When You Don’t Know the Size

It’s a daunting task – buying an engagement ring for someone you care about without knowing their exact size. You want to make sure it fits, of course! But it’s not always easy to accomplish without letting the secret slip.

Before we start (and this has to be said); the best way to get an accurate measurement, whether for the perfect engagement ring or wedding ring is to speak with an experienced jeweler.

If we want it to be a surprise proposal this may not be an option and that’s okay.

While it’s not the end of the world if the ring doesn’t fit when you ask the big question, having an approximate size can mitigate the risk.

In this article, I’m going to walk you through a number of different ways you can find out your girlfriend’s ring size so you can buy an engagement ring with confidence and find something that will show your special someone just how much they mean to you.

How to Buy an Engagement Ring Without Knowing the Size?

Just Ask Them

The first is the easiest and most obvious – let’s just get it out of the way.

If marriage has been discussed and both are under the impression that it’s a natural progression of the relationship there’s no harm in asking. There’s a good chance she already knows her exact ring size.

You probably know this already, but for those who don’t; we’re looking for the size of her ring finger, the fourth finger on her left hand (second if you’re counting from your pinky finger).

If you don’t want to do that, which I’m assuming you don’t… read on.

Go Window Shopping Together

Again, following on from both people seeing a diamond engagement ring as a plausible future. Have a day out and go “pretend” ring shopping. I’ve yet to meet a man or woman who doesn’t enjoy the diamond shopping process.

This is exactly how a few of my close friends ensured she got the diamond ring she wanted and he got the ring size he needed.

It will help you get a feel for what her personal preference is when it comes to her ring. Metal color (yellow gold, white gold and rose gold are all popular options), plain band or pave, halo, hidden halo or no halo, oval, pear, or round diamond, and of course; they will measure her finger and you will have a concrete answer.

Asking a jewler is the most accurate way to get the right size.

“Steal” A Ring She Already Wears

This is not a guarantee but can still be a good idea. Not all fingers are the same size, and not all jewelers follow the standard ring sizes.

It’s worth remembering many believe it’s bad luck to wear a ring on your left ring finger. So even if she has a ring it may not be the size of her ring finger.

Borrow an existing ring from her jewelry box and take it to your local jeweler. They will be more than happy to tell you it’s correct size, and it only takes them a few minutes to do.

In most people their middle finger is slightly larger than the ring finger, so that could be a safe option to later get resized if needs be (remember; it’s easier to make a ring smaller than to make a ring larger).

Ask a Close Friend or Family Member

If their mother or grandmother has passed down jewelry, it’s likely they know your partner’s size. Family and close friends are also more likely to buy jewelry for each other than others.

It’s never a bad idea to ask your partner’s friend. They’ll generally jump at the opportunity to help with the surprise and have probably discussed the diamond ring in question.

In my case I told my best friend my engagement ring size, and she told me hers, and when my partner enquired he knew exactly what to get. The ring fits perfectly (and it removed a lot of stress on his side).

Buy a Different Ring as a Test

Gift a ring for Christmas or a birthday (although not a great idea if she’s expecting a proposal soon). See how it fits and work from there.

If you normally hold hands or play with each others fingers, slide the ring on and off all the fingers to see how it fits. It seems like nothing, or just a cute moment but really it’s recon for future plans.

As an aside… Pandora keep jewelry sizes on file. So, if you or your partner have bought a ring from there previously, the staff would be able to tell you the size of the ring.

Measure it in her Sleep

If you have ribbon, string, paper, or even dental floss at home, it’s easy enough to figure out ring size. Best if they are a deep sleeper (or have had a few drinks).

See below for the instructions:

• Use a tape measure or piece of string and wrap it around the base of the finger – this will give you the circumference in millimeters.
• Place a small piece of paper around the finger and mark where it overlaps – then use a ruler to measure this distance in millimeters.
• Check this length against a ring sizing chart
• Voila, ring size.

Just remember, if the item you are using to measure has any stretch or give it can warp the result and give you the wrong ring size. Taught and tight, but not too much. Measure multiple times if possible and average the results for the most likely finger size.

Buy a Ring Sizer

Ring sizers can be found on Amazon at a fairly low price. They look like a bunch of keys on a big loop. Each of the different rings corresponds to a jewelers ring size.

You can try slipping it on to your beloved’s finger when they’re asleep – just make sure you’re measuring the correct finger. It may take a few different tries to get the right size but this should give you a more exact ring size than the other options.

And don’t leave it lying around or they’ll get suspicious and it’ll remove the element of surprise we’re trying to protect.

Other Things to Be Aware Of

Average Size

The average ring size for a woman’s engagement ring is between a 5 and a 7. If your measurements are coming out drastically on either side of this and you think they have quote unquote normal hands, maybe double check before doubling down.

It’s also important to note that the measurements are in relation to the inside of the ring. While wedding bands and rings in general are quite slim they would still factor in, if you’re measuring differently.

How Should an Engagement Ring Fit?

I have a whole article here on how an engagement ring should fit but the basics are below. Snug is the word we’re looking for, for a proper fit.

• Your engagement ring should be easier to put on than it is to take off.
• The ring should slide easily over the knuckle and sit in place at the base of your finger. When you shake your hand it shouldn’t move more than a milimeter or two.
• If the skin around the ring bulges it’s probably a bit too tight. Similarly, it shouldn’t leave any indentations in the skin.
• Your engagement ring should not feel loose. Nor should its stones fall to either side easily.
• To test it – push your ring up from the underneath and see if there is a small space between your ring and your finger. This generally means it’s a good size. Too much space – too big. No space – too small.

What if I’m Still Not Sure After Doing All of the Above

Size up. Rings can be resized, but it’s easier to make it smaller than it is to make it bigger. As with everything you wear, it’s easier to take away than add it in.

You can also ask the jeweler to give you the removed piece, just in case you need to add it in at some future point.

And no, a larger size that has been made smaller doesn’t look like it’s been changed.

What to Do if it is Too Big

This is most peoples fear when it comes to buying an engagement ring. Sometimes unfounded but often with reason. The good news is there are temporary and permanent options if you bought a larger ring size.

Temporary fixes include adding ring guards, twirling string or a plaster around the ring, adding another ring on top to hold it in place or adding sizing balls into the ring.

The permanent solution is to get the ring resized. Depending on the intricacy of the ring, any designs or engravings, resizing is usually a fairly simple process.

Here’s a whole article about resizing rings.

What if their fingers are swollen at the minute?

We have two options here, really. Either wait until the swelling goes down – it’s common for womens hands to swell when pregnant, or undergoing treatment.

Or, alternatively, size up. Measure your partner’s ring size now, buy a ring that fits this size and re-size it when their hands have come back to their original size.

Conclusion

It’s daunting, I know. But you know as well as I do that it will be worth it to see their eyes light up when you finally get down on one knee. Hopefully, this article has given you some ideas (and piece of mind) on how to get their ring size without them knowing – and what to do if it doesn’t go to plan.

Best of luck and congratulations on your upcoming engagement. We have our fingers and toes crossed that everything goes according to plan.

Come back and let us know how it goes.